Glimmers of Hope

On Sunday at Church we had a prayer session and for the first time I felt encouraged to open up to my Church family about our plans to sell our home and homeschool the kids. I knew that I’d cry. It’s difficult to talk about my kids and my desire to be home with them without crying. I felt a sense of relief in sharing the prayer request. It was as if I was unloading my burden on others to carry to the Father and that felt good. It’s nice to know that there are other believers praying.

Our agent called me on my birthday to let us know that an agent wanted to bring someone by to see the house. So, we cleaned up that night to have the house all ready and left the lights on, on Sunday. But, during Church I received a message that they were not going to come by.

We’ve received these “glimmers of hope” since listing the house on the market 01 September 2012 and initially I was confused by what was happening. For ~ 5 years I’ve struggled with understanding how God was working within my heart regarding His plan for me as a mother. And, now that we’ve finally come to the realization that He’s calling me home to homeschool and we’ve listed the house, do we have to go through a season of waiting? I didn’t see this coming. Oh, that’s right..I’m not God and can’t see into the future!

For now I’ll hold onto these glimmers of hope as a sign of God’s Hand in the Process and I’ll meditate on what I know to be true of my Lord and Savior. My God is a loving and kind Savior who tells me,

 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Regardless of how things seem to be materializing around you, when the Creator of Heaven and Earth says He has a plan for you, it’s a good plan. So, rest in the hope of what He has for you.

A Different Approach to Learning

Last night I did some reading in my book, “How to Homeschool : A Practical Approach ” by Gayle Graham. It’s one of those vintage old skool paper back books that has the basic homeschooling for dummies/101 level of information and just puts it to you straight on how to do everything from how to find time to wash clothes while you homeschool to how to develop a unit study. I picked it up at the 2012 Homeschool Convention from the hand-me-down shop. I like straight forward material and this book does just that. I was reading last night about the simplicity of homeschool and how you can tailor your day and curriculum based on your child’s interests, strengths, and ways to address their weaknesses. A unit study is defined as, A cross-curricular educational approach in which learning is focused around a central, common theme. For instance, a unit study on trains would teach the development and use of early trains (history), train routes (geography), different engine types (science), train-based literature (language arts), and so on. Unit studies allow children of different ages to study the same unit together but in different levels of detail. (http://www.time4learning.com/homeschool/homeschooling_glossary.shtml)

With a unit study you are able to teach a specific subject from varying vantage points. What dawned on me last night was how I was taught in the public school system using textbooks as the main source of the curriculum. Textbooks are designed to cover a lot of material at a very high level over the course of the school year. So, you learn at a broad level. Homeschooling provides the opportunity to go deep in a specific area from varying vantage points (art, music, history, science, literature, etc.). When you learn about a subject using multiple senses you would assume that it would “stick” with you longer.

When we built our home one of the first things I did was find a good resource that I could read that I could educate myself on the process. But, after a year and a ½ of studying the floor plans, developing a budget, hiring and managing multiple contractors, coordinating with the bank for payments, and seeing with my own eyes the full process step by step I believe I could teach a course on the home building process! If I had only read the book I’m not sure how thorough my understanding would be. Well, when you compare that to the homeschool education using a unit study approach, there is the ability to go deep within a specific area of study and learn from varying vantage points. I would think that this approach would also foster the strengths of research in a student as well.

Oh, the joys of learning!

Praise Him in the Uncertain Times

I praise God that I was able to get away this morning and sneak a peek at my little ones while they were at school. I felt a little nudge this morning while getting dressed for work to visit in on their Chapel service and I received just the encouragement I needed. After taking them to the bus I got back home to tidy up and noticed that my oldest at left her binder for school. That was all the confirmation I needed to head to the school so that I could give her the binder and attend Chapel service. The topic of the main lesson was on prayer. The message centered on the attitude of the Magi when they lavished gifts upon the baby Jesus. Scriptures says they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy when as they saw the star while heading to Bethlehem. And, in that same manner we should rejoice with great joy when we come to the Father in prayer whether we are confessing our sins, petitioning him on specific prayers, and as we praise Him. This should be the attitude of our heart.

When times are uncertain it may not come as naturally to praise God, but the Bible commands us to do so. Rejoice always, again I say rejoice! It helps our mind from focusing on the problem as we instead focus on the Lord Jesus.

As I sat in that Chapel service and sung Christmas songs about the birth of Christ and my oldest peered back at me and smiled with joy knowing that I was there to rejoice in the Lord with her my heart rejoices at the little gifts that God gives me each day as a Mother. As I rejoiced in my children today I imagined the joy that filled the Father’s heart as He looked down on His son the day He was born.

There were certainly uncertain days ahead for Mary and Joseph but they all still rejoiced. To God be the glory for the things He has done.

My Waiting Season

I'm at peace with the reality that I'm in a waiting stage of life right now. Everyone at some point in their life has to wait on something. The more advancements we seem to go through in technology shortens our patience for waiting. That's why they call it "instant messaging", right? You expect to get a response instantly! We are connected 24/7 by way of our cell phones, ipads, twitter accounts, facebook, etc. Technology has conditioned many of us to anticipate immediate responses and when there's a delay its as if something is wrong.

When it comes to God we can't apply the same set of expectations regarding our connection through prayer to the Master. He's not like us and He's not on the same timetable that we are. As we learn more about the Creator of Heaven and Earth we'll find that His ways are not our ways and He has a purpose in what He does that may not make sense to us in our feeble brains. Keeping this perspective helps me through this waiting stage of life.

I read several testimonies today from women who have been through waiting seasons in their life and what touched my heart was their triumphant reflection on God as He brought them through their waiting periods. God was glorified in each of their stories. The other common theme in their stories was how they drew in closer relationship to Him through the moments when it didn't seem their prayers were being heard and answered.

It was validation that I'm not alone and what I'm experiencing as our home sits on the market and I anticipate a transition into homeschoooling, is that God IS working in ways that I may not visibally see and He's preparing me. As my faith grows to believe in a reality that has not come to fruition, I become more peaceful and joyful in a circumstance that doesn't visibally seem to be changing.

To those who are waiting...
http://www.notconsumed.com/2012/05/14/seasons-of-waiting-1000-things/

When's it worth it?

I'm a Mom on a journey home. This has a been a long journey of ups and downs with God drawing my heart home to my children. I no longer want to have an undivided mind when it comes to being focused on the needs of my children and husband. In today's world a mother's heart can be divided so many ways. We are sensory individuals and we feed off of what we read in books, see on television, observe from other women, soak up in the workplace, take in from magazines, etc. Distractions are all around us and if we're left to our own devices to decide what's the best thing for our role in life and for our children, we'll end up with a void and an emptiness.

I discovered my own void a few years after having my own children. In my early 20s, I believed that it was culturally acceptable and valued to have a dual income household. So, I got the degree, the husband, the career, big beautiful house, and two beautiful children. In the beginning I felt accepted and that my efforts were acceptable unto God. We were very comfortable financially, the children in private Christian school, and life was all together "good". In some respects many would say we were living the American Dream. Day to day life was managed very well and I actually found joy being able to "escape" any frustrations I felt going through the "terrible 2s" and typical challenges with everday parenting woes. Many days required travel and  I lavished in comfortable hotels and room service. Getting away served as my mental vacation from the duties of parenting.

While the perks from the career world gave me a certain amount of satisfaction it just wasn't enough to fill the void I was feeling in my heart. As time progressed the void and quiet days in the office beckoned thoughts of my chidren's laughter, their goodnight kisses, and tight hugs around my neck. It became evident time with them was fleeing.  I could numb the void by remaining busy or give in to the thought of actually walking away from a career and into the arms of my family.

What sacrifices are worth it?